Thursday, June 19, 2008

Consumer rant: bike lock misery

This is going to be a big deviation from the posts I usually make in this pretty non-topical blog of mine. I could climb on a high horse here and claim I am trying to convince other consumers to benefit from my mistakes, but really this is just to get even with companies that design such poor products I was stupid enough to buy.

So here we go, topic is bike lock consumer review.


First lock to be reviewed is the Kryptonite Evolution Mini. It's claimed by the manufacturer to be the "lock of choice by bike messengers world wide". Based on my experiences, I seriously doubt this is the case. The lock itself is fantastic, supposedly very safe and even with some kind warranty against your bike being stolen. The key hole has a protective cover against the elements and the mechanism seemed to be solid. Fantastic design then, right? Wrong!

The problem is getting the lock to the place you want to bike to. Design for the EZ Mount Bracket is a classic afterthought: it's made of plastic and while the bar attachment is quite innovative to fit a wide range of tube diameters, the whole thing is just way too long and flimsy to withstand any serious bumps.

Why? One end is firmly fixed to the bike and there is a kilo of free-hanging metal bouncing at the other. Both brackets broke cleanly in half at the seam near the locking mechanism, which almost seems to have been designed to split there. Maybe a good sales strategy to sell more locks?
I already wrote about this in a previous blog entry and to make a long story short, the holder that came with the lock was in two pieces less than a month from purchase. I managed to recover the lock the first time, but second time around I lost half of the holder as well as the pretty expensive lock. In my book, a lock that's in a different place than the bike is seriously useless.

SCORE for Kryptonite Evolution Mini: 0 of 5 - piece of shit

The lock I replaced the Kryptonite with after it was lost for good is the Basta XL Pro. It really would appear that the manufacturer has no web presence, which is telling in itself. Looking at the mounting bracket alone, I should have known what was coming.

The good thing about the Kryptonite holder was that it kept the lock in tight (no noise) and was a breeze to attach/detach the lock into. The plastic Basta holder scores much worse on both regards. At least the pedestrians knew I was coming because of the infernal noise (think metal clankin against metal) the lock was making shaking in its holder. Partly because of this I wasn't that sad to see the whole thing gone AWOL one day. When I left I had a lock and holder and at the other end of the commute I no longer had either. For its defense, the mounting bracket lasted more than a month, which is twice the mileage I got from the Kryptonite ones on average. I think it's anyway fair to give an equal score as the end result is identical.

SCORE for Basta XL Pro: 0 of 5 - piece of shit

After these experiences I thought the way to go is forget about the lock being resistant to breaking attempts and try to maximize the possibility of the lock keeping quiet and staying on the bike to the other end of my journey. The third lock to be reviewed is the Basta Click MTB.

I usually avoid vendors I have bad experiences with, but in many stores in Finland Basta is the only lock on sale and I thought my mistake not buying a Basta per se, but buying an U-lock. Based on what happened here, it's hard to fathom why this is the prevalent make on offer however.

Before I move on to the bitter end of this one, I have to point out that there actually is a regular Click and then the mountain bike version I got. One would think the latter to at the very least have a key hole cover as many mountain bikes are driven in dirty off-road conditions, at least in theory. Mine isn't, by the way - now in the summer I have slick tyres. The lock has this cool spring load action (hence, "Click") when you open it, which worked about a week. It got progressively harder and harder to open and close the lock, but this was summer and I was driving in dry conditions so I postponed spraying the lock with gun oil through the key hole a bit too long. Big mistake. One morning last week after five weeks of use I really had to make an effort to get the darn thing to give. Thing is, what gave was the key. I'm no strong man but managed to twist the key into two parts with my left hand. Business end of the key was stuck in the key hole, seemingly for good. Thus while the failings of the U-locks made it impossible to lock the bike, this one failed by preventing the legal owner unlocking it. How annoying is wearing all you biking gear early in the morning and realising you aren't pedaling anywhere today? Let's just say that breaking the lock in paid good money didn't feel as bad as it otherwise would have.

SCORE for Basta Click MTB: off the scale - so crappy you wouldn't believe


I bought a cheapo lock from Biltema next, but haven't driven it anywhere yet. It's the fifth lock on my bike this year and it's only friggin' June (the one not reviewed here was a rusty old thing I nicked off my wifes bike between Kryptonite brackets #1 and #2). Getting money back for a product that you either no longer have or have sawed into two pieces proved to be an impossibility.

I am so pissed off with the two vendors I decided to film the breaking of the third lock and I will make a video version of this review as well. I will also make every effort to get a maximum number of hits to both the video and this review. Every Basta or Kryptonite lock that never gets bought as a result come with a sweet taste of revenge. You know what they say: "Don't get mad, get even".

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Vesku, long time (too long),

this was hilarious, but I am certain you are v.serious here :)


Season's Greetings to You, Tuija and Joona !

Unknown said...

I had the exact same experience with the Kryptonite lock and bracket. Big locks = big transport headache.

Solution: consider the realm in which all these theft-proof locks emerged---post 9/11. Seems that the internet 'Fearware' epidemic had it's roots in America's obsession with security. I park in alot of high theft areas of Denver. Tried the chain/U-lock thing and quickly ditched both locks. Switched to a simple cable lock 2 yrs ago. No problem. No theft. Still have my bike.
Many of the theft stories that I've heard in my town have more to do with U-lock/chain users who forgot to bring their lock (since their brackets probably cracked too!), ran inside the store/gym/library, and viola! No bike. Basically anything that requires time and tools offers some level of security.
And I don't have the greatest bike. I've actually seen a few carbon/high end bikes with simple, thin cable locks recently.
Do your next blog entry on bike lights, since most of them are a P.O.S..

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Anonymous said...

What touching a phrase :)

Andy said...

Basta Click really sucks bigtime - it's beyond comprehension that they have close to monopoly in some places!!!

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